Nathanael Rowe

Today, My buddy Andrew and I went to Taco Surf for happy hour.  On our way back, we got stopped by some green peace folks who wanted to try and guilt us into joining Greenpeace in order to save the rain forrest.  This lady could not have picked a worse target for her guilt piling techniques because just yesterday I watched a South Park episode entitled “Rainforrest Schmainforrest.”

The episode is pretty hilarious, with the basic premise being that the students get lost in the rain forrest on a trip to save the rain forrest, and because of their close brush with death in this ordeal, they all decide that the rain forrest actually sucks, and we would all be better off with out it.  So with this hilarious new point of view I decided to have a little fun with this lady.

So, as this lady tried to tell me how we were down to the last 20% of rain forrest in the world, I responded by saying, “Thats good cause that place is deadly.”

“What?!” She said.

“Yea, there is something like over 3,000 deaths per year in the rain forrest”  I am pretty sure this is an accurate number, it may actually be much higher but in reality the rain forrest is actually a really dangerous place for humans.

She laughed and said, “I thought you were saying that we should get rid of the rain forrest because so many people die in it.”

“Yea, That is exactly what I am saying.”

She was laughing, and then quickly stopped.  I don’t think she knew what to say in response to this.  At this point her green peace boy friend chimed in and said something like, “I think there are lot more people dyeing from having their villages burnt down from the destruction of the rainforrest, because it is such a cheap source for paper, and the tigers are going instinct.  Plus one third of all cures for illnesses comes from the rain forrest”

Now after hearing this my thoughts were, “Why would people who want to cut down the rain forrest for paper, burn it?”  But I decided not to mention that little point, simply because I did not want his head to explode, instead I kept on with my playful attack against the rain forrest and said, “Yea, but I bet two thirds of all the diseases come from there.”  In reality there are actually several hundreds of things in the rain forrest that cause cancer, I didn’t just make that up either.

The guy just shook his head, and the girl said, “Well if you guys aren’t really interested then you should probably just go.”

Andrew stopped laughing enough to say, “Well what do you actually want from us?  Do you want money, or a signature, or what?”

“We are looking for people to become members.”

“Oh well I am not going to be a member, but maybe he is interested,” as I pointed to Andrew.

“No I don’t think I want to be a member either” Andrew told them.

Her face was priceless, I don’t think she ever expected anyone to respond by saying the rain forrest should be destroyed.  It was pretty hilarious, and Andrew and I walked away cracking up.  I was pretty harsh, but I have little sympathy for solicitors, so I get a slight sick pleasure by messing with them.