Windshield Wiper Fire Power
My first car was a 1986 Dodge Caravan. This is not a picture of my car, but this is what it looked like. It was a fun car, with a lot of stories, some of which I will share here at another time. Today I want to share a specific story that resulted from a unique feature on my van.
See the hose that connected my wiper blade to the wiper fluid reservoir was broken in a very specific way. It is important to point out that I did not break this part on purpose, but that instead it was simply a natural deterioration of the clearly superb Dodge Caravan. This convenient break caused my wipers to squirt out a solid stream of liquid to the right of the car each time I pressed the fluid button from the inside of the car. The stream was so perfect that if there was a car directly to my right it would go right into that car’s driver side window, and if their window was down, it would go right into their face. So needless to say, I went through my wiper fluid reservoir pretty frequently.
I would often pull up to friends and sometimes even strangers, ask them to roll their window down, and then squirt them right in the face. It was so fun, and people would want to ride in my van just so they could be a part of this hilarious prank. I remember one time pulling up to an elderly lady at a light. My buddy was sitting shotgun, so he promptly signaled to her that he would like her to roll her window down to ask her something. As soon as he did, I squirted, and it hit her right in the face. Now in retrospect I admit this is pretty cruel, but that lady’s reaction was simply, “Wow, you got me, that was pretty good.”
One time while in High School, I was driving to the beach with some classmates. Along the way we noticed our science teacher was driving next to us. So we of course signaled her to roll her window down, and as soon as she did, I soaked her. The interesting thing about this, is that she was not a teacher I had any grudge against, her name was Mrs. Brown, and if anything she was one of our favorite teachers, but something about that vehicle just made you take advantage of the opportunity to squirt your teacher in the face.
The next day at school I was terrified to see her, but eventually I slowly walked into her classroom with my head down. She just stared at me and shook her head. I apologized immediately, and she had come up with some devious plan of humiliating me for revenge. I willfully took her punishment, although I no longer remember what it was exactly.
Anyway, we had a lot of fun in that van, and squirted a lot of unexpecting victims, If you can mod your car in this way, I highly reccomend it.
